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“Yeah?” Eric said. “That sounds like a good thing.”
“Well, sure. But come on, Zane is talented. He made sacrifices because I love my job, and I’m settled here. He didn’t shape his career around mine just so he could sit home alone every weekend while I work crappy shifts.”
“I didn’t think about that,” Eric said.
He often blocked out just how young Zane was. He was in college when Paul met him — through the ER. That was a sticking point for Eric as medical director, and he preferred not to think about it too much. They were together and happy, and he wasn’t going to dwell on all the things that could spell bad news if Zane decided to lodge a complaint. Of course, he’d been in a serious relationship with Paul for a solid year, so that seemed unlikely.
Eric nursed his black coffee. When Zane still worked at Javalicious, he teased Eric that he had no soul as he made his drink minus the frothy foam and sweet syrups. Now, watching his best friend stress about his relationship because of the shitty circumstances at the hospital, Eric felt like it was all too true.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I wish I could promise you something. Throw you a bone to share with Zane.”
“If something doesn’t change …”
“What?” Eric prompted. “There’s only so much you can do.”
“I can leave,” Paul said bluntly.
Eric immediately protested. “But you love the ER!”
“I know.”
“When you were on administrative leave, you were adamant you loved emergency medicine and wouldn’t be happy working as a general practitioner. You said you’d be bored with a private practice.”
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
“Before Zane.”
Eric gaped. He knew that Paul loved his boyfriend, but he’d wanted so desperately to hold onto his place in the ER when it was threatened. It was difficult for Eric to comprehend the drastic shift in priorities.
“You almost didn’t even date Zane,” he pointed out, “because of your job.”
Paul surprised him by laughing. “I used to be the king of denial,” he said. Shrugging, he added, “Besides, I didn’t know then what I know now.”
“What’s that?”
“A healthy relationship, a real and lasting love? That’s worth more than a job, Eric. I didn’t understand because my relationship with Meredith was twisted. It was unhealthy for both of us, and we were selfish about what we wanted. Zane and I are different. You know?”
Eric’s mouth twisted. He wasn’t sure he did know.
“Does that mean my marriage with Perry was flawed too? Because I valued my work so much he left me?”
Paul looked chagrinned. “I’m not trying to comment on your marriage. This is about me and Zane. Our future.”
Eric waved a hand, not really upset. Paul had a point. He’d put his career ahead of Perry, and it hadn’t ended well. Paul didn’t want the same ending for him and Zane. Still, Eric’s hands were tied.
“I know it seems like I have power—”
“You do.”
“I don’t,” Eric countered. “I take requests from all of you. I try to create a balanced budget, and then the board and the CEO veto half of my decisions. You know that.”
“You have some influence,” Paul insisted. “If you push back hard enough, you could make them understand this isn’t a few complaints by greedy staffers. This is a situation that is getting out of hand. It’s getting risky — for the medical staff, for the hospital, and especially for the patients.”
Eric raked a hand through his hair. “I know, but … they won’t listen. I could put my ass on the line, but I’m not sure that would be enough. I’d be risking my job—”
Paul snorted. “They wouldn’t fire you.”
“Maybe not,” he allowed.
“Do something, Eric,” Paul said, putting him in a tough spot. Usually, they agreed not to discuss work for this very reason. “If you don’t, I’ll be handing in my resignation by the end of the year.”
Chapter Nine
Casper struggled to keep a straight face as he followed Eric into an Amish bazaar. Eric had called him three days after their rooftop liaison and told him he wanted to get together.
Then he’d tried to invite Casper out for a drink.
While going out for drinks might serve its purpose in getting Eric out of the office, Casper didn’t want him to fall into that predictable rut. He wanted to push him out of his comfort zone and teach him how to see the world a little differently. Like Kage had done for him years ago.
Casper had refused the drink invitation and told Eric to come up with something more original. It had taken Eric almost a week more to call back, so much so that Casper worried he’d scared him off by being too demanding. When Eric had finally reached out, he said had an idea, but it might not be what Casper wanted to do.
“Surprise me,” Casper had said.
And surprise him, Eric did.
“Don’t laugh,” Eric said now. “I told you I was no good at this.”
“I’m not laughing,” Casper said, unable to keep the wide grin from his face.
“I mean, this can be fun. Arts and culture—”
Casper lifted a jar from a table. “And jelly?”
“Preserves,” Eric said mulishly, and Casper did laugh. He couldn’t help it. Eric was so self-conscious and flustered, it was cute. The medical director usually looked so reserved and in control. Casper was already enjoying ruffling those tidy feathers.
“Relax,” Casper said. “You’re right. There are no rules about what’s fun.”
“Says the guy who refused to get a drink because it lacked originality.”
Casper continued to smile, unfazed by Eric’s grumbling. “I just wanted to see what you’d come up with if you couldn’t do the predictable thing.”
Eric spread his arms, indicating the interior of the large park building where the market was held. “Is this predictable?”
“No, it sure isn’t.”
The building was essentially one large room with concrete floor and walls, rafters holding up a high ceiling and incredibly dim lighting. Despite its grimy appearance, it was full to bursting with activity. The Amish market was nothing to sneeze at, apparently. Tables held handmade preserves, soup mixes, and other baked goods. Special racks displayed beautiful, intricate quilts, and toward the back was a space reserved for Amish-made furniture.
Eric chuckled ruefully. “I really am boring. I was thinking of buying a quilt for Olivia’s baby.”
“That’s a nice idea,” Casper said, then glanced at the price tag. “But $900 for a baby blanket? It’d be a shame to see it ruined by spit-up.”
Eric frowned, eyes scanning the market. “Good point.”
“Maybe a rocking chair?” Casper suggested.
They meandered their way among the tables, Casper snagging a couple of soup mixes — one an intriguing harvest soup with pumpkin and spices and another a traditional potato. Eric bought the sandhill plum and dandelion jelly from the first table. If nothing else, their taste buds would get an adventure.
As they made their way toward the furniture, they pointed out interesting finds. One table held some handmade musical instruments, including a banjo, a flute and a strange looking item the booth attendant told them was called a dulcimer. A curvy instrument with strings, it apparently was meant to be held on the lap while played and was considered an ancestor to the piano.
“Do you play anything?” Casper asked Eric as they moved on.
“Not really.”
“Aha.”
“What?”
He nudged Eric. “Fess up. Not really isn’t a no.”
Eric pulled a face. “Not really means that no rational person would call what I do playing,” he argued. “I took piano lessons as a child, but it’s been years.”
“Oh, I’ve got to see that,” he teased. “Maybe we should sneak into a church after we’re done here, and you can impress me with your organ.�
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He waggled his brows, but his flirting was lost on Eric.
“I don’t go in churches.”
“You don’t ... not even for events?”
Eric shrugged uncomfortably. “It hasn’t been much of a sacrifice.”
Casper waved a hand as they stepped into the cordoned-off furniture area and nodded to a bearded man. “But this is sort of religious, isn’t it?” He lowered his voice. “They’re Amish.”
Eric laughed at him, which maybe he deserved. “I’m aware,” Eric said. “I don’t have a problem with people or their freedom of religion. But going into a church feels different.”
“I sense a story here.”
Eric met his gaze, his brown eyes troubled. “It’s not fun, so it doesn’t really fit into today’s activities, does it?”
Casper let him deflect. He was the one who had turned seeing Eric into an exercise in entertainment, partly to alleviate the flicker of guilt he always felt when dating someone. He didn’t let it stop him because he was here and Kage wasn’t, and that would never change. But it’d been a while since he’d dated someone he liked as much as Eric.
“Right,” he said with a nod.
“This is nice,” Eric said, smoothing a hand over the polished wood grain of a headboard. It was intricately carved, with a series of curlicues etched in with amazing detail.
“Do you need a bed?”
Eric chuckled. “No.” He nodded toward a crib. “But I know someone who does.”
Casper followed Eric and watched him grill the Amish crafter about the crib and its safety standards. He was so confident when he was being analytical. Casper felt a shiver of desire just watching him. He was all power executive, which was hot, but what would he be like giving up all that power and yielding to Casper’s body?
His blood heated, and he had to turn around and recite all his patients’ names and due dates in his mind to head off an impending erection.
“I’m sorry,” Eric murmured behind him, his breath brushing the back of Casper’s neck and doing nothing to quash his rush of lush.
“Sorry?” he asked, his voice a shade too husky.
“This isn’t much fun. I can come back later.”
Casper spun, shaking his head. “Eric, it’s fine. We can haul it back to your place and put it together.”
Eric groaned. “Oh God, the market was bad enough. I can’t make you put together furniture too.”
Casper laughed. “Buy me enough beer and it’ll be fine.”
“I have wine.”
“That works,” Casper said easily. He preferred beer, but he wasn’t that picky. He glanced sidelong at the solemn-faced Amish man. “And maybe we should stop talking about drinking, eh?”
Eric followed his train of thought and smirked. “Probably.”
Casper nudged him. “Well, let’s get the party started.”
Eric shook his head. “You’re never going to call me again, are you?”
“Technically, you called me, but I’ve got no complaints. I’m having fun.”
Surprisingly, he was. Going to an Amish market wasn’t Casper’s usual style of fun, but it was a new experience, and he found Eric’s mix of smart confidence and shy insecurity refreshing. Too often men wanted to fuck, skipping the personal details, much less friendship. For once, Casper was enjoying getting to know someone. It didn’t have to turn into anything heavy like true love, but friends with benefits wasn’t out of the question. Casper had dated a few women, keeping it casual, but mostly he’d only had rushed hookups with men.
Something more with a man would be a new experience for him, and Casper was all about living life to the fullest.
If he’d taken one lesson from Kage’s short life, it was that.
***
Olivia was at the house, surprised when he and Casper arrived with the crib, divided into several pieces that were inside a large box. Because it was handcrafted, there was no handy set of instructions or snap-together parts like you’d get with IKEA furniture. It required real tools, but it still wouldn’t be too complicated.
Mostly, it was heavy.
Casper cursed as he stumbled on the porch steps, bashing his knuckles into the railing.
“Still think this is fun?” Eric asked, wheezing under the strain.
“Don’t test me, Holtz,” he growled, and Eric wished — not for the first time — that Olivia would have been out shopping or at a movie with friends. He hadn’t ever tried to get laid while hosting a minor before. It proved challenging.
Olivia held the door open for them. Eric had gone in and asked her to clear a path to the nursery for her new crib before they unloaded the car. Now, she was grinning ear-to-ear as she watched them wrangle the box.
“Uncle Eric, this is so amazing of you!”
They made it into the house and sat down the large box to take a breather.
“Dr. Rollins, how did you get dragged into this?” she asked with wide-eyed innocence. “Were you there at the same place?”
Funny how his teenaged niece, who’d gotten pregnant, was still so naive. He wouldn’t change it, and it just went to show that sex didn’t change a person’s nature.
“I love a good Amish market,” Casper deadpanned, and Eric had to disguise a snort of laughter into a cough before they got the energy to carry the box into the room Eric had designated for the nursery.
Olivia hovered for a while, but eventually got bored with no responsibility besides handing the drill to Eric and discarding the cardboard box. Eric told her she could leave, and she gratefully retreated to the living room.
Eric and Casper worked together efficiently, plastic cups of wine at their sides to motivate them.
“I don’t even know if Olivia will be able to stay here,” Eric mused. “This wasn’t very practical, but I want her to feel at home.”
Casper sat back, eying the crib, now assembled. “It’s a good start.”
He took a sip of wine, throat moving as he swallowed. Eric shifted, wondering if Olivia would hear him if he tackled Casper to the floor. Probably.
“Why wouldn’t she stay?” Casper asked.
“Her parents don’t want her here.”
“Oh. I just assumed ...”
Eric took a swallow of his own wine, a Cabernet Sauvignon with notes of cherry and oak. It was dry, rather than sweet, but Eric liked it that way.
“It’s complicated.” He laughed ruefully. “It seems like everything in my life is.”
Casper set down his cup and stood up. “This doesn’t have to be.”
“No?”
Casper crossed the room, then extended his hand to pull Eric up.
“No,” he said softly. “Light and easy. Simple.” He kissed Eric, brushing his lips in a soft tease. “Sexy.” Now, he traced the edge of Eric’s lips with his tongue, encouraging him to open. Eric’s hands dropped to Casper’s waist, pulling him against him so he could feel the thick ridge of his erection.
“Hot and hard,” Casper added, “but not complicated.”
Eric barely remembered what they were talking about as the kissing heated up. He wanted more hardness, so he rocked his hips. The flare of pleasure made him whimper, fucking whimper, against Casper’s mouth.
Casper moved his lips to Eric’s neck. “I knew you’d be sexy when you let go.”
Eric closed his eyes, vaguely embarrassed by his reaction. His body trembled, his cock aching for release, and breathy sounds escaped him as they made out even though he knew he needed to be quiet with Olivia in the house.
Casper’s touch was turning him into a puddle of need, but the reverse didn’t seem true. Casper kissed him and held him, but he wasn’t falling apart like Eric. Probably because he considered this a bit of spontaneous fun and nothing more. Casper probably had these types of hook-ups all the time.
“Sorry,” he whispered, laughing shakily as Casper lifted his head to blink at him. “I’m not usually so ...”
“What? You’re great,” Casper said. “It’s okay
to relax and let your guard down.”
Is that what he’d been doing? He wasn’t sure it was that simple. Eric had never felt so needy with his partners in the past.
Olivia walked in, the crunch of a potato chip announcing her arrival. “Are you guys . . . Oh.”
Casper drew back, but they stood close enough that there was no disguising they’d been kissing moments before. Eric could still feel the flush in his cheeks.
“Sorry,” Olivia said as she averted her eyes to the crib. “I’ll just go—”
“No, stay,” Casper said. “I should head out.”
Eric felt a flash of disappointment that Casper was leaving so soon and wondered if the guy was relieved to have an escape route. He wasn’t usually so insecure, but something about Casper pushed him off-balance. He was gorgeous, built and fun — a trifecta of traits that put him out of Eric’s league.
“I’ll call you,” Casper said, smiling at him.
Eric nodded, unable to find his voice. Casper said goodbye to Olivia and let himself out. Eric just stood in the corner, not even walking him to the door. He legs were shaking too hard to move, and his brain was mush.
“Good for you, Uncle Eric!” Eric snapped out of his daze as Olivia laughed at him. “Bet you’re glad now I asked him if he was gay.”
Eric did his best to look stern. “He’s not gay, he’s bi.”
“Whatever he is, he’s all over you,” she teased.
He rolled his eyes. “For God’s sakes, don’t tell your parents about this when they call.”
Ever since Laura’s surprise visit, she’d been calling and talking to Olivia each evening. Eric wasn’t sure if it was good and she just wanted to stay in touch, or if she was trying to manipulate Olivia. He never asked Olivia about their conversations, and she never offered any details.
“I’m not an idiot,” Olivia said. “Mom would flip her lid.”
“Yeah.”
“Which brings me to a question,” she said tentatively.
“Yes?”
“Is it okay if I file for a change in guardianship?” she asked. “I threatened Mom with emancipation papers, but I don’t really want to be all on my own. Would you be willing to be my guardian until I’m eighteen? I mean, I’ll be staying here with the baby anyway, right?”